Exciting News

This fall I will be attending the Foundations for Counseling Ministries (FCM) school through the University of Nations in Kona, HI. A 6 month, 24 credit course, the school is held on the YWAM Kona base and is the first of 2 years worth of classes/internships towards me receiving a BA in Biblical Counseling! At this point I'm not 100% sure that God will have me there that long, but I am excited to being this pursuit of education & equipping! 

Over the past several years God has begun writing blue prints and vision into my heart. Reaching out the broken hearted, the hopeless, the ones trapped in darkness: the destitute. As I have worked with and amongst many who would fall into that category my heart has been wrecked to see them reach a place of wholeness, joy and freedom! Society has come up with many band-aids to help these people such as housing, food, money, education - and these are good, but they don't deal with the heart issues at hand. Observing the impact God's presence has on a person's heart, mind, body and soul has completely fascinated and inspired me to pursue whatever is necessary to facilitate His Presence here on earth. With that as the vision I feel a need to become equipped in Biblical counseling & inner healing. To walk alongside the destitute in hopes of helping them reach a place of healing, restoration, freedom and ultimately reconciliation with Christ is my future. This is how God has designed me to participate in His Kingdom work and I am so honored, humbled and excited to start this process of training! 

The 3 month FCM lecture phase begins Sept 27th and is followed by a field assignment/internship. While in lecture I will learn about relationships, Christian identity, helping skills, personality restoration, forgiveness, law and grace, & the work of the Cross all in a counseling format. The first part of the course will cost roughly $4,500, $1,000 of that I've already paid (thanks to my summer job here at the foster facility). There will be more details about the field assignment/internship later so keep looking for that in the coming months.

I appreciate your prayers as I begin this exciting journey of equipping in the University of Nations, Kona. Should the Lord so move you to help me financially I would love to talk with you more about it so please feel free to email me at lovingreflections.marisa@gmail.com 

Love Always

Home Sweet Home!

It's been a week and a half since the internship at the International House of Prayer (IHOP-KC) ended and I returned home! Hardly believe it myself as I have been coming to terms with the fact that it is in fact, April, and not February. Home has been wonderful and I feel so blessed to be here at this time and having not much more on my plate than resting, spending time with family and meeting our new family member, Gunner! It has been so needed as I really haven't had an opportunity to rest since summer 2010. I've found that I'm sleeping more than usual and while it was a little puzzling at first, a woman I met put it well saying, "there is something about being home after a long voyage that just puts you at ease, and you find yourself able to do things that you hadn't in a long time." It's so true - I now have time to rest, to read my Bible on my own time, and I've also taken up writing chapters of the Bible to begin a cover-to-cover study/read through of the Word. Things I hadn't been able to do while staffing with YWAM or interning at IHOP, but now I've got all day to do - Praise the Lord for rest! 

Last week I had an interview at Christ's Haven for Kids, a sort of privately owned foster care/children's home, for a summer rec job. My mom already works for them and my younger sister too, volunteers at their horse barns, and the three of us live here on the campus. It was not certain that I would get the job and the week before returning home it seemed over and over that things would not work out, but upon the interview I was hired on the spot and now will have a steady summer job! It's going to be great working with about 20-25 kids aged 7-17 every day this summer AND getting to do devotions with them as it is a Christian organization, and I'm getting paid to do it! Bondye Bon! ("God is Good" in Haitian Creole)

Easter weekend I had four girls from IHOP-KC come down and stay with me to attend TheEstherCall, Dallas. It was a 2 day women's conference where women gathered from all over the US and even some internationals, standing up as Esther's in this day and age. Together these women were standing in courage and boldness, speaking out against the murder of millions of babies that society calls Abortion. Starting with several hundred women gathering in front of the Dallas courthouse (where Roe v. Wade was passed, legalizing abortion in America) to several thousand gathered at the convention center it was an awe-inspiring day. To see thousands of women, who had an abortion(s) themselves or who had been affected by abortion in other ways, fasting and praying together for HOURS - I've never seen anything like it. I'll be writing more about the conference and how I got to serve these women soon, so be on the look out! 

Sunday morning I attended Gateway's Easter service and was moved by the teaching on the three absolute truths of Jesus Christ's sacrifice for our salvation: He died, He was buried, and He is Risen! After the service there was an alter call, as is usual on Easter sundays, but this time I was truly moved. As about 40-50 people came down to the front, making a physical statement that they were receiving Christ as their Lord and Savior, I began feeling the joy of the Lord for the souls being saved. Though I have seen and been apart of many salvation prayers, this time the reality of what was going on just hit me in a deep and tender way. As my heart swelled for the new brothers and sisters I was receiving and cheering on, tears of joy filled my eyes and I just wanted to run down and hug every single one of them! It was amazing seeing the church, this service probably holding a good 2,000 people, praising the Lord and cheering the 50 people as they walked to the front! Yes, Lord - I know you desire every man, woman, and child on the face of the earth to be your sons and daughters. I know how happy this Easter sunday made you, and I know that every day there are more and more coming into your kingdom, I want to be apart of it! Here I am, God, take all of me and use me to the furthering of your kingdom and the declaring of Your great Name among the nations! 

Love Always

Dark but Lovely

I have no eloquent words, nor can my mouth confess the fullness of the goodness of God. In the prayer room this afternoon it was all I could do to pray, "Thank you God for who you are," over and over and over again as I paced through the room. When I first heard the song Dark but Lovely, I knew that there were depths to it I didn't understand and  remember asking the Lord to reveal Himself to me through the song. Not more than a  couple months later Misty Edwards begins playing it and I am all but moved to tears; a whole new perspective and longing kindled in my heart.  There is no full understanding of the great grace which He has bestowed on us, but I am no fool to say that if it were not for the abundance of His grace upon my life I would not be living today.  Though I am dark, He calls me lovely.  And in my greatest weaknesses the Lord's heart is captivated.  It is beyond me, and it brings me to my knees, that this Holy and most perfect God would call me His Beloved.  Oh but I long to know Him more, to know every part of Him.  Intimacy is what I delight in, Love is what I have. Weakness is my strength, and Beloved is my name. Praise be to the Lord or Lords!  All glory, honor, and power be to Him who sits on the throne and who's voice is like that of many rushing waters. For He alone is worthy, He is Holy, and I will joyfully pour out my life as an offering to Him. That sweet incense would arise from my lips to move His heart day after day after day.  

Dark but Lovely

I can’t understand

This work of Grace

How a perfect God

Would come and take my place

The stars, they don’t move you

The waves, can’t undo you

The mountains, and their splendor

They cannot steal your heart.

This God, who is Holy

Perfect in Beauty

Awesome in Glory

Is ravished by my heart

Though I am dark

You say I am lovely

Though I am poor

You say I am beautiful:

Somehow my weakness

Has overwhelmed You

Somehow my weak love

It has stolen away Your heart

Love Always

Proclaiming the Favor of the Lord

To start, I have been completely blown away by the intimacy and partnership God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, and I have walked in this week! I could write an entire book on all the revelation that Holy Spirit has guided me into and how I am discovering the Bridegroom, Jesus, and who He is... and then I could begin to touch the way that the Lord has been teaching me about what it means to find favor in His sight. It's overwhelming just to begin thinking about how I can put words to these marvels - but I'm going to try a little. As I go into this quick testimony of a few events in the last week I want to preface with a few quick points. First, some of you reading this may have differing opinions of Holy Spirit, who He is and how He operates in this day - I am speaking from my own experiences and am confident that it's not some bogus "show" put on by some crazy-folk. Secondly, when sharing about these experiences it is only to expand your faith and build confidence in the Living God whom we serve, I pray that everything put down into words here is received as to give God All the Glory and Honor as I testify to His greatness!

It really all started last Thursday, stepping into a new season with the Lord as I walked into my first day as a 21 year old! (Sometimes I forget that I'm young still and it makes me stop to think about my life and the way the Lord desires every day of my life...) That morning had some friends pray over me because I was just feeling the "lacking" in me and the severe mourning that I was unworthy and insufficiency to walk in the anointing and calling to which He has called me to. Not 30 mins later I walked into the coffee shop and an older lady told me that she could just feel the Lord's anointing all over me, I didn't necessarily feel anything but as it was obvious that the Lord had something for her, asked to pray for her and ended up prophesying and confirming words that had previously been spoken over her, of which she told me afterward. It was really encouraging that even when I felt so far away and just lacking, the Lord would use me to minister to His daughter. After talking with her I went to a healing ministry session where some interns prayed over my back (I am still contending for complete healing and removal of all pain in my back) and as one of them went to anoint my head with oil - a literal spark of electricity shocked us! It wasn't like I had been dragging my feet on the carpet, but it was visible and loud enough for everyone around to hear/see it. It was so funny to both of us though I was immediately wondering what just happened because as far as I knew, vegetable oil is not exactly a great conductor of electricity.
A few hours later in the prayer room everyone was pressing into the Lord and we were truly encountering the Lord's heart and Holy Spirit's presence. At one point I felt a tangible change in the atmosphere and felt a great pressure being laid on my shoulders/chest, though no one was around me. It wasn't scary or causing any pain, but rather felt like someone had draped a heavy cloth over me - it was warm and rather peaceful. As I sought the Lord for an explanation I did not gat any clear word, but that it had something to do with a mantle of anointing upon me. Afterwards at lunch I happened to pull out my computer, which I rarely bring with me during the day and honestly didn't know why I had that day, and in checking my email I had received a message from my dear sister, Nina! She had been praying for me a few hours prior and received a vision of a mantle of new/greater anointing upon me... no kidding! She went into greater detail as the Lord had given her a clear image and explanation to what had happened - though she had no idea that it was actually happened as she was praying!!! Our God is so great, that He would orchestrate such an event to build, encourage and share with us!

Friday we were participating in the regular apostolic prayer set that all the Intro and OneThing interns do together every Friday afternoon. A group had begun praying for healing over a woman in our track and I noticed Holy Spirit doing a great work over them - eventually, more out of curiosity of what Holy Spirit was up to than anything else, I joined them and it wasn't long after that a great unleashing of God's presence came upon us. I can try and explain a little of the physical ramifications of this pouring out - there were about 10 or us together and though we'd all been standing at the beginning, by the end we were all laying on the ground. There was travailing as the Lord gave us revelation of His mercy; people were praying in tongues; several later shared that there was an unnatural heat stirred within them, that they felt heat - like their hands, lips, bellies, ears, were on fire at one point; bodies were trembling at the presence of the Lord; some received the joy of the Lord through intense laughter that sprung out of deep places in their souls - one friend, Gavin, said that he had never experienced or felt such joy come out of him before; and other things yet also took place. As for myself I spent most of the 2 HOURS on the floor, my body shaking in the little display of God's presence; at different points I went from my hands, mouth/tongue, and ears were on Fire - felt like a hot ember was buried inside - not that it was painful, but that it was so strong that I couldn't deny something was going on. I received several prophetic words for the group, for specific people, and even saw a number of visions while it lasted. This was not some "show" we put on, in fact most of the people that were apart of this group would tell you that up until that day they had never experienced any "manifestation" of the Holy Spirit outside of speaking in tongues, and that usually they were watching others who had with minds full of doubt and judgement. As I said earlier, none of this is that we focus on the manifestations, but those are a physical testimony to the presence of the Lord and I can tell you that it was a time full of revelation, receiving of prophetic words, wisdom was imparted and anointing was poured out over each person to the measure which the Lord gave. During the 2 hours of this another "glory pool" as some call it, broke out about the same time on the other side of the room with much of the same effects; several people were healed from migraines, epilepsy, and other ailments!
That night a few of us attended Shabbat at a friends' home and the Lord again revealed Himself in a tangible presence sort of way. It wasn't as intense nor thick as it had been earlier, but there was again a release of healing, prophecy, tongues, wisdom and revelation to all those in participation that night. There were even a number of non-Messianic Jews who were being ministered to that night. It was beautiful!

That just tells a little of the experiences and encounters with the Lord I've been having here - granted, I've gone through these seasons of what feels like fresh outpouring of Holy Spirit's anointing many times, but it sure is nice to be walking so intimately with Him right now! I hope to share more with you about what the Lord is revealing to me in relation to the "favor of the Lord," but right now I'm off to bed. There is a weekend "Black History Symposium" that I am an usher for which you can join and watch the live stream at www.ihop.org/blackhistorysymposium/. It started tonight with Dr Alex Gee and has already been challenging me to greater understanding of my weakness and God's love for all peoples! So good - you don't want to miss it I guarantee!

May you be encouraged to grow a greater appetite for the Lord's presence - Blessings to you all!

Love Always

Snowy Kansas City and life as an IHOP intern!

It's been 3 weeks since my last post, and yet it feels like just a couple days ago. The weeks fly past here like a snowflake in the wind with hardly a chance to stick and melt.

Woke up this morning to 2-3 inches of snow blanketing Kansas City!

The last few weeks have been astounding! I've spent over 100 hours in the prayer room in the last 3 weeks doing nothing more than prayer and worship. The last few weeks I've also been attending lectures on the book of Revelation and End times, learning about God's love for Israel and the Jewish people and Mike Bickle has started up the continuation of his series entitled, "Jesus: Our Magnificent Obsession." The quality of time spent here at IHOP is so worthwhile! I am loving every minute of it even though it has been filled with challenges. While soaking in the prayer room, I have had the opportunity to face several issues, wounds, and misconceptions that I've gathered over the last few years; spending time in the Word and applying scripture to the condition of my heart has been an incredible time of healing. Through the lectures, and ministry of Holy Spirit in the prayer room, I can literally see the change in myself as I am building up the foundation of Christ's love and growing in the knowledge of Him, that I not serve and minister in zeal alone. (Romans 10:2)

Because I believe it does such a good job at defining my life at this time and the life that I am learning to live daily, I have written out Romans 12 below. It's a very short chapter and I encourage you to read through it, and maybe later to spend some time really praying into the depth of this passage.

Romans 12:1-21 ESV

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."


May the Lord bless you abundantly this week as He fills you with the love and joy of His word!
I'll soon be posting a little something special in honor of my 21st Birthday which was on the 15th!! (exciting huh?!)

My buddies, Jasmine and Bella, keeping me company on the couch today! They greet me at the door every night, leave stuffed mice as presents for my room, and love to cozy up with me whenever I'm around. Love'm! :)

Love Always

Discovering the "Chivalry of God"

The LORD - is paving the way for something! In case you haven't heard the story here's a quick recap:

• I got home from OneThing on Jan 1st with a confirmed word that I was supposed to begin an internship at IHOP-KC
• Jan 3rd: had my application and reference forms sent back to IHOP-Kansas City;
• Jan 5th: had $50 and airfare given to me
• Jan 9th: confirmed housing and had the first amount of rent that was due ($175 - it'll normally be $325, but my landlord was gracious)
• Jan 11th: I flew up AND THEN later that afternoon received an email confirming my acceptance; 
• Jan 12th: Started orientation weekend putting $50 on the table (I was praying all day/night prior for the rest of the $900 to come in and.. it never did...) BUT they were gracious, so I have 2 dues dates coming up where I owe $425. You can read more about that further down.

Since then I have been attending classes hosted by IHOP, have spent over 30 hrs in the prayer room, serving both in the prayer room and in the "Children's Equipping Center" with 3-year-olds on Sunday mornings. This makes for a very full schedule with just barely enough time for lunch! I was blessed with housing only a 10min walk from the prayer room which is Wonderful as I don't have a car, also purchased a big fluffy coat since winter here means COLD! haha God is also working out rides for me to and from class as well as rides to stores and the grocery. Thank you Jesus!

In the midst of arriving here, the Lord gave me a clear word and has given total peace about not "fundraising" but simply stating my need and COMPLETELY trusting Him to do whatever He wants. It's not even, trusting Him to fill "my need" it's simply whatever "HE" wants and I have such peace about it. This is very much against everything I have come to learn and do, usually sticking to the "do the possible and let Him do the impossible," but He has given this as a season of rest and specifically said that the care of fundraising is no longer one I need to be concerned with in this season. It IS scary still- I feel like I just signed up for a marriage and am now realizing all that it means. In His graciousness though, He labeled this season for me on the first day in the prayer room saying it was time that I discover the "Chivalry of God"... and it has been SO wonderful!!!
In the occasional moments where I stop and think about "details," like running out of money in a few days lol.. I have literally been able to just grab hold of Him, close my eyes and trust that He is my ultimate provider, my companion, and that He Wants to Take Care of Me More than I Will Ever Know! -humbling, and exceedingly comforting during this time :)

When all this started, a friend and I were walking to our class and she noticed a guy waiting just inside - I was headed for the nearest door and she stopped me saying, "don't you dare" (she's a very southern black woman -so imagine that with Attitude lol) and it was then that I noticed the man inside the next pair of doors getting ready to open/hold it for us... Later, I was in the prayer room and the Lord took me back to that moment saying, "will you just allow ME to open the door for you? please!" It took my breath away as He started telling me about Himself as a lover... Saying that He didn't just want to Open the door, but also to Hold it for me. That it's His joy to welcome me in because He's prepared the way and was eager to show me exactly where I need to go, is eager to take my coat for me and help take my shoes off. He so desires to be "My Beloved" and has been patiently waiting and pursuing me until the day when I realize I haven't received His love like this yet. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega, God of All, desire to take care for me... little, unworthy me...
It's like going from "my best friend" to being "engaged," and then a few hours later as He continued to reveal Himself. By the end of the night I was literally saying to myself, " shoot, if that wasn't a shotgun marriage.. I don't know what one is!" There's so much to trusting Him and being "His Beloved" -gosh that phrase alone holds such depth.

So as simply stating where I am at financially, so that you can partner with me in prayer as I trust Him to supply all that I need, I have $36 in my bank account and $40 in cash. 

On Feb 1st: $325 due for rent+utilities

Feb 10th: $425 for the 2nd internship tuition payment

March 1st: $325 for rent+utilities

March 9th: $425 for the last tuition payment

This doesn't touch groceries or other needs, but it gives an idea what is needed. I can only praise God because even as I type this there's not a hint of uneasiness or worry about where this is coming from - He is so faithful! If the Lord moves you to give in a financial way, not just prayerfully - there are instructions on the "Where am I?" page. 

Love Always

Consecration

So this will be a short but ends with a good nugget about His heart for us...
Yesterday I began the Intro to IHOP-KC Internship!!! I walked in yesterday morning with only $50 in cash and a complete peace about it. It was such a fun day! I met my "core group," which consists of a few missionary couples, girls from Egypt & Brazil, dancers, graphic designers, singers, musicians, photographers, entrepreneurs, and many other amazingly talented people! Orientation was all day and filled with hours of "this is how we do it," talks - not unlike YWAM and in fact it was interesting to compare the two throughout this orientation weekend. Friday I had lunch with 3 girls from Brazil, an Egyptian and a New Yorker - love being in such culturally diverse company and look forward to the next few months of getting to know them. Last night was invited to a Shabbat service, down the street from my town house, where the Holy Spirit moved us to repentance for the nation, followed by a lil'ole glory fest ;)
Today was our second day of orientation and was all about "consecrating ourselves" to the Lord. The Lord was really speaking to me through this session and as He spoke, both personally and through others, confirming this as a season of rest. One specific word that He gave me I feel led to share; as I was praying about what I needed to let go of and He came to me with this word about "learning how to let Him." It was so simple and He came saying, "My Beloved, would you just allow me to hold the door open for you? Can I get your coat for you? Here, let me treat you to dinner tonight, and tomorrow night, and the night after... Really, I just want to take care of you - I love you and would love it if you'd let me show you how much." It took my breath away as I sat in the room, surrounded by 75+ other, and He was just asking if I'd let Him serve me. He just wants to take care of me, and has asked me to let go of "needing to fundraise" or thinking about how I'm going to pay for rent, food, tuition, etc... and trusting that He will make it His concern so it doesn't have to be mine. Wow right? It is truly a blessed season and He is helping me pry finger after finger off of the "need to make things happen" orb. And I am finding it absolutely wonderful as He is imparting even greater peace and blessing me so dearly... there are no words...

Love Always

Welcome to Kansas City!

Well, here I am! Freezing in the newly draped snow, but filled with excitement!

Not even 2 weeks from when the Lord opened the door for me to do an internship at the International House of Prayer ( IHOP) in Kansas City I have arrived! In the last week the Lord has kept me in complete peace as I worked fast to apply/interview with IHOP, secure a flight, find housing, and fundraise in one of the quickest turnarounds I've had!  God is so faithful and has provided a room to rent for $325/mo that's about 3 blocks from the Red Bridge Center (where the global prayer room is located). He also blessed me by leading the Gannets, family friends from TN, donate their flier miles and provide free flights to and from KC!

Even with all that I can't help but feel a little crazy.  After unpacking my room today I sat on the bed and the reality hit me that I have jumped through the door that God opened for me and am now trusting Him completely to provide everything I'll need for this walk.  In the last week I have daydreamed what tomorrow (orientation) is going to look like - particularly when I go to the financial table. Will I check in the morning to find all $450-900 in my account? Will I be on my way and have a random person give it to me? Will someone have already paid it for me? Or, the big question.. what happens if I don't have it at all... It's there that I stop and force myself to remember His faithfulness. He has never led me somewhere and not provided for it - granted, it hasn't always been what I expected, but He's never let me down. Facing this one is a little different though as it really is the biggest leap I've taken. Needing to pay for rent every month, for food (a max $200/mo), and for tuition... It doesn't seem like "simple fundraising" anymore and it is definitely harder to trust Him.  However, as I said earlier He has blessed me with a peace that overcomes. And even as sit here, not knowing what to expect out of tomorrow, I am confident that whatever happens will be ok. I know that He brought me here for a reason, and I know it definitely wasn't any of my work that got me here, so I am trusting that whatever He's doing is the best for me and will just bring greater Glory to His Name!

Tomorrow will be quite a day and I timidly look forward to seeing what it holds. Thank you for partnering with me as the Lord leads; whether it be through prayer, finances, or words of encouragement, I definitely appreciate them all!

Prayer Needs:
-For continued peace and for wonderful rest tonight
-That in all things, His will be done; whether I get all the money needed or not.
-Pray for Haiti, today is the 2 year anniversary of the earthquake that left their country ravaged by disaster and mourning over the loss of thousands of families and friends
-Also, several of my PAP DTS students are back in the mission field -1 in Brazil, 3 in Benin, and several in the Dominican Republic, and we have 2 back in my "homeland" Kona, working with the YWAM base there! I am So proud of each of them and ask that you join me in praying for them as they live as missionaries in these places!

Financial Needs:
at Least $450 by tomorrow, with a total of $900 for the internship tuition
$550 for both February and March ($225 for food/living expenses and $325 for rent/utilities)
-if you'd like to give you can use the Paypal button to the right or contact me to work something else out!

Psalm 65:9

"You visit the earth and water it;

you greatly enrich it;

the river of God is full of water;

you provide their grain,

for so you have prepared it."

Love Always