One Question with a Powerful Answer

A week ago I had the opportunity to take my sister to a night of worship at our church. IT was a phenomenal time of giving glory to the One who deserves it all and I was beyond blessed to worship Him along side my little sister. Afterwards I met a woman, her son and daughter (both in their 20s) and was able to briefly share with them the journey God has had me on the past few years. They were amazed that I would devote my life to His glory at such a young age and were so encouraged by my testimony of grace and love from Him. Towards the end of our conversation the woman looked me in the eyes asking, "So do you still struggle with anything? All that you've done and the way you have experienced the Lord, I mean... How do you ever struggle with anything?" This took me aback and responding with a lighthearted joke of still being human and made of flesh just the same as everyone else I stored that question to return to. You see something about her question brought conviction to my heart. Yes, I am no where near perfect in my relationship with Him - and that's ok. BUT there have been so many times that I doubted His salvation, doubted His love for me, that I refused His forgiveness and freedom... I have blatantly turned from Him and sinned at times - fully knowing that it hurt Him, and still done it. I am a horrible daughter, not worthy of the title of "Ambassador of the Kingdom of Heaven." Early in the spring I watched this clip of an elderly woman who has taken that title and made it her mandate. It inspired me and I want to be just like her. Sure, I have done the work of a missionary, I have lived a life of "faith & trust in the Lord" for years, I have seen the sick healed, brokenhearted mended, the lost found, the slaves set free and I have seen life after life transformed by the miraculous power and salvation of Christ! Yet I still struggle with complete devotion to Him. I am a fallen human made of flesh, looked upon by the Almighty God who stares at me lovingly and says, "That's my girl." I am not worthy of a glance from Him, yet He chooses to love me. I am baffled by His love and am moved to tears by this fact. That He Loves me, though I am broken, weak, selfish, stubborn and foolish. He Loves Me. 

You see, when that woman asked me how I could still struggle with such faith to live for Him, she was speaking words from Spirit that would bring me back to the elemental truth of the Gospel. God created man to be perfect, to share in life with Him and have relationship with God. But at the trickery of Satan, a vengeful angel who is consumed by control issues, man sinned leaving a gapping mess of separation because a perfect God cannot be united with sinfulness. The punishment for man's sin was death and someone always has to pay. So God made a way through His Son, Jesus, to come and die for our sins, that we would no longer have the separation of our sin from God. After living a perfect life, Jesus was crucified and after 3 days rose from the dead with the keys of hell - that Satan would not have his victory of eternally keeping God's beloved separated from Him. Because of such a magnificent and emotional sacrifice, God made a way for man to once again choose relationship with Him! He loves each one of us so much that He sent His One and only Son to come to a world, that had almost entirely turned away from Him, and bring forth redemption. Now we can live in the fulness of the promise of His Presence once again so long as we accept the salvation that He has already paid for us. What a God! This is why I am so captivated by His love, why I am convicted of my sinfulness and why it is that I choose to love Him above all else. It is a joy to serve Him, just as a wife loves to bless her husband, so do I love to worship my Beloved. For He is truly worthy of it all! 

Whether you have been comforted that you're not the only screw up who declares His Name, or you're inspired by His love and moved to repentance yourself for running from such a beautiful gift as salvation and relationship with HIM, I hope that this has touched you in some way or another. God bless you as you read this and may He reveal His love for you even more than you anticipate! He is so Good!

Love Always