- I got home from OneThing on Jan 1st with a confirmed word that I was supposed to begin an internship at IHOP-KC
- Jan 3rd: had my application and reference forms sent back to IHOP-Kansas City;
- Jan 5th: had $50 and airfare given to me
- Jan 9th: confirmed housing and had the first amount of rent that was due ($175 - it'll normally be $325, but my landlord was gracious)
- Jan 11th: I flew up AND THEN later that afternoon received an email confirming my acceptance;
- Jan 12th: Started orientation weekend putting $50 on the table (I was praying all day/night prior for the rest of the $900 to come in and.. it never did...) BUT they were gracious, so I have 2 dues dates coming up where I owe $425. You can read more about that further down.
In the midst of arriving here, the Lord gave me a clear word and has given total peace about not "fundraising" but simply stating my need and COMPLETELY trusting Him to do whatever He wants. It's not even, trusting Him to fill "my need" it's simply whatever "HE" wants and I have such peace about it. This is very much against everything I have come to learn and do, usually sticking to the "do the possible and let Him do the impossible," but He has given this as a season of rest and specifically said that the care of fundraising is no longer one I need to be concerned with in this season. It IS scary still- I feel like I just signed up for a marriage and am now realizing all that it means. In His graciousness though, He labeled this season for me on the first day in the prayer room saying it was time that I discover the "Chivalry of God"... and it has been SO wonderful!!!
In the occasional moments where I stop and think about "details," like running out of money in a few days lol.. I have literally been able to just grab hold of Him, close my eyes and trust that He is my ultimate provider, my companion, and that He Wants to Take Care of Me More than I Will Ever Know! -humbling, and exceedingly comforting during this time :)
When all this started, a friend and I were walking to our class and she noticed a guy waiting just inside - I was headed for the nearest door and she stopped me saying, "don't you dare" (she's a very southern black woman -so imagine that with Attitude lol) and it was then that I noticed the man inside the next pair of doors getting ready to open/hold it for us... Later, I was in the prayer room and the Lord took me back to that moment saying, "will you just allow ME to open the door for you? please!" It took my breath away as He started telling me about Himself as a lover... Saying that He didn't just want to Open the door, but also to Hold it for me. That it's His joy to welcome me in because He's prepared the way and was eager to show me exactly where I need to go, is eager to take my coat for me and help take my shoes off. He so desires to be "My Beloved" and has been patiently waiting and pursuing me until the day when I realize I haven't received His love like this yet. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega, God of All, desire to take care for me... little, unworthy me...
It's like going from "my best friend" to being "engaged," and then a few hours later as He continued to reveal Himself. By the end of the night I was literally saying to myself, " shoot, if that wasn't a shotgun marriage.. I don't know what one is!" There's so much to trusting Him and being "His Beloved" -gosh that phrase alone holds such depth.
So as simply stating where I am at financially, so that you can partner with me in prayer as I trust Him to supply all that I need, I have $36 in my bank account and $40 in cash.
On Feb 1st: $325 due for rent+utilities
Feb 10th: $425 for the 2nd internship tuition payment
March 1st: $325 for rent+utilities
March 9th: $425 for the last tuition payment
This doesn't touch groceries or other needs, but it gives an idea what is needed. I can only praise God because even as I type this there's not a hint of uneasiness or worry about where this is coming from - He is so faithful! If the Lord moves you to give in a financial way, not just prayerfully - there are instructions on the "Where am I?" page.